Did you ever have a period in your life when you thought about death? A lot? Maybe it’s after a relative or friend passes away or maybe you come face to face with your own mortality or the mortality of a loved one?

My Aunt passed away earlier this week. And since hearing the news, I’ve thought about death quite a bit. My thoughts usually turn to the question we were asked to answer in an Ethics class I took in college…”When you die, what will your obituary look like?” In this class we were asked to think – do you want people to remember you as a generally good person or as an unethical one.

I’m not trying to be morose; but when thinking about transforming your life, it really is a great question to ponder… How will I be remembered? What will my legacy be?

For me, there wasn’t an easy answer to the question.. It’s easier to identify what I don’t want to be remembered for (typically bad and/or negative things).

You’re probably wondering where I ended up. Once I started with a list of action words it became very clear to me. I want to be remembered as the Athlete’s best friend and a loving husband, a participative father to the Dancer and Little Miss Sunshine, and as a generous loving person who had fun and exhibited integrity while giving ALL I had every day.

AmK Tip: If you find time to reflect and struggle with this question, make a list of words that either describe you or that are aspirational. Take that list and pick the ones you are already doing and set them aside (you never want to lose sight of your good behaviors). Then take the top two or three that are aspirational and create an action plan around them. For example if you want to be remembered as being a generous person, create a plan that identifies how you will be generous. It may be financially – I will give $x month to church and a charity (be specific). It may be time – I will spend 10 hours a month helping at the food bank. Then hold yourself accountable for following up. The goals I created at the beginning of the year all build towards leaving my legacy.

Up Next: I want to bang on my drum all day.

Make today a great day!

AmK

My Mom knew what she was talking about….. When I was five years old, my father passed away. He went to work and died of heart failure at the office. I still remember when the men from his office came to the house to tell Mom. I didn’t understand what was going on – just that I’d never seen her so upset.

I’d like to say that I’m perfect and that I really can do that every minute of every day; but I can’t…What I can tell you is that this one gift – the gift of appreciation – has gotten me through every difficult time in my life. It’s also allowed me to enjoy way more laughter and good times than I probably deserve. Her gift allows me to draw inspiration from people who have many more concerns than I do – people who are so much stronger than me in dealing with whatever life throws at them! I have dear friends who deal with so much in their every day lives and look their problems in the eye and say Cancer/Diabetes/Whatever – I’m going to find a cure and kick your ass! It’s not that I take joy in their suffering – I get to spend time with these people and share in their triumphs and help them through tragedies.

I know my Mom is watching over me and enjoying the fact that I get to live a gift every day. Mom, I won’t let you down – the transformation I am going through this year will allow me to enjoy the gift you’ve given me for many more years!

Many have said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over (and over) again and expecting different results. (If you know the real author, please advise as I’d love to give her/him credit).

The movie Groundhog Day portrays the same thing. Phil (Bill Murray’s character) relives the same day over and over again – but never changing anything. He eventually uses his time wisely and learns new things – only once he makes changes can he break the spell of living the same thing over and over again?

Have you ever felt like you are in a rut? Dread going to work? Dread having the same argument over and over again? I know I’ve certainly been there! It wasn’t until I changed a behavior or TRANSFORMED my behaviors that I was able to achieve a different result.

It’s precisely why many people who go on diets fail. Once they hit their goal, they say ‘my diet was successful and start living Groundhog day again. Don’t diet – change your lifestyle. The same applies to your finances and your career. If you want to change an area in your life, alter your behavior and tweak as necessary. It isn’t easy; but if Bill Murray can figure it out, so can you!

Stay tuned for ideas on changing behaviors.

Make today a great day!
AmK

Fun fact: Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow 97 times, has not seen it 15 times, and nine years are unaccounted for —through 2009.

Many of you have asked ‘How are you doing in regard to your goals?’ Well the above tracking sheet shows my performance versus goals for January. I use a simple green (exceed), yellow (met/exceeded with concerns) and red (missed) to give a quick visual reference.

Achieving goals isn’t just about creating and measuring (although both are important steps). The real key to success is knowing when to tweak your behaviors to ensure you stay on track! For example, I exceeded my goal for weight loss in January; however I wasn’t as diligent as I could have been in tracking calories. I believe I would’ve lost more weight and have made that adjustment for February and moving forward. Additionally, we contributed to a couple of Haiti relief funds and with our normal giving exceeded our goal for charitable giving; but we haven’t done our formal budget for the rest of the year yet. We’ll do that in February and I will be able to make that goal green again!

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement, feedback and support!

Up next: Groundhog Day

Make today a great day!
AmK

Transform? Really? Isn’t that a bit drastic? This is the feedback I’ve received when telling people what I will accomplish in 2010. So I decided to look up transform at dictionary.com (does anyone use the paper one any more?).

Well, I don’t believe I’m going to transmute – so convert my lifestyle? I’m OK with that. Metamorphose? Sure. The real meaning is significant change which is what I’m talking about.

I’m sure you are thinking – ‘if you are making that many changes, your life must really suck.’ I’m here to tell you that my life doesn’t suck, in fact Life is good. However, I think I can do more for myself and others than what I’ve been doing. Here’s a little secret – I’m not perfect. I can and will be a better husband and friend for the Athlete. I can and will be a better father for The Dancer and Little Miss Sunshine. I can and will be a better citizen in the communities where we spend our time (Raleigh, Church, etc).

I can hear myself talking to others:

“The transformation comes in how you choose to live your life. What do you value? What are your principles? If you aren’t living everyday being true to yourself and your beliefs, then you can do more and be even happier.”

I’m using this year to change and tweak my actions to match my values. It’s something we should all do every year.

No, Virgina, my life doesn’t suck. But 2010 will be better than 2009 and I can’t wait to Live a little stronger.

Up Next – The January Scorecard.

Make today a great day!
AmK

Giving back means many things to many people. While I would love to be in a position to write a check for many different causes, we can’t today. But I must say, even if I could, it wouldn’t be enough for me. I realized at an early age that I really enjoyed doing things for other people. My Mom’s sister, Aunt Kay, used to call me two little hands and two little feet as in ‘Two little hands and two little feet, will you set the table for me, etc..’ I loved it.

It wasn’t until about 12 years ago that I was able to articulate this concept/thought to myself. I had recently been elected to City Council in the great City of Suwanee and was able to contribute right away. Not because I was the smartest person in the room; but because I was willing to give of myself to learn and serve. In a later post I’ll talk about the power of a shared vision and team work! The next several years were some of the most rewarding in my life as we worked to secure a bright future for our citizens.

I also enjoy mentoring people at work. Although the people I mentor are way smarter than me, I enjoy helping them find the right experiences and actions that best utilize their talents. I am humbled by the number of people who come back for additional ‘chats.’ I am getting way more satisfaction in return for my help than the value I deliver – I’m sure of it!

As indicated previously, I now do a lot of volunteer work for JDRF. Once again, I’d love to write check after check to help find a cure; but by giving of my time I can help people see a brighter future for their families and quite frankly it feels awesome!

My recommendation to you is: TODAY (don’t wait until tomorrow) find a friend, sibling, co worker who needs help and just step in – not only will you make it a great day for them, it will become one for you as well!

Up Next: My Life Doesn’t Suck!

Make today a great day!
AmK

OK – I admit it – having a goal around weight loss is nothing new. But for me, I can’t transform my life without a healthier life style and improved fitness. Personally, there are several reasons for this. The primary reason is that I feel like I’m living on borrowed time. My father passed away when he was 35 – heart failure was the official diagnosis. My uncle (His brother) had a stroke in his 40s.

I want to be around to see the Dancer and Little Miss Sunshine grow up!
I want to live through the drama of the teenage years!
I want the chance to argue about politics, religion and boys with them!
I want to walk them down the aisle and see them marry their best friend like I did!

I get a physical every year and an EKG and so far, the numbers are OK; but I know the extra pounds I carry must be having an effect on my longevity – can all those studies be wrong?

The second reason that weight loss is an option for me – I don’t know of any medical reason I can’t lose weight and lead a healthier life. Many people don’t have the choice to lead a healthy life. In my volunteer work with JDRF, I’ve met many children and young adults who can’t choose… They can’t say I will not have diabetes any more. Therefore, I feel as if I’m being selfish with the gift God gave me if I don’t take care of myself. Plus, those hills absolutely suck when dragging extra weight up them on a bike!

I’ve consulted with a nutritionist and read many publications to help me with this specific goal. As we move through the year, I’ll share what’s worked and what hasn’t and will gladly answer any questions along the way. I want to stress that we (The Athlete and I) are making lifestyle changes for me and not following a ‘diet.’ This will be a permanent change with lasting results!

How am I doing? You’ll have to wait until the end of the month when I publish my scorecard to see the results.

Up Next – Giving Back.

Make today a great day!
AmK

Good question! As I indicated the past few years have been strange since my Mother passed away. My initial reaction was to re prioritize and I jumped off the corporate ladder for a while and moved into a role where I could spend as much time with my girls (all three of them) as possible.

I realized the hole I was feeling actually started before she got sick. I missed being involved in a community. I missed leading and developing people. I lacked passion for anything other than my family. Then I rediscovered the Joy of riding my bike again. In my opinion, there is no better place to get lost in your thoughts than on a bike ride – so I started riding again.

After that I started doing volunteer work for JDRF and led my company’s walk team for a JDRF event and reignited a passion for motivating people and delivering exceptional results.

All of that is a quick (for me) way of saying – It was time for me to fully re-engage in my own life and the lives of others. I quickly realized I needed to focus on several areas at once if I am going to really transform my life.

The Athlete was all for it – as I’ve indicated before, she’s my rock and my inspiration and will help me every step of the way!

Up next – Isn’t the weight an obvious goal?

I’ve had this crazy concept circling in my head for the past several weeks and decided to give it a try. The idea is to share my goals for 2010 and let you all hold me accountable – and maybe we’ll all learn something along the way.

For the first time in my life I decided not to create resolutions for 2010. Instead I plan on transforming my life in three key areas: Health, Finances and Community involvement. I’ve created distinct goals for each and as I was doing it, the number 50 kept surfacing (hence the title of the blog).

The past several years, I’ve really enjoyed watching my girls get older (You’ll meet the Dancer and Little Miss Sunshine in a later post) and participating in their lives. I’ve also enjoyed the continuously developing relationship with The Athlete who I’ve been married to for almost 20 years. However, over the past three years, I feel as if I’ve been just going through the motions in a couple areas of my life. My goals center on making the other areas as strong as my marriage and relationship with my daughters.

So here goes:

1. I will lose AT LEAST FIFTY (50) pounds this year by watching what I eat and exercising regularly.
2. I will ride my bike at least 50 miles a week (or combined mileage of running/biking) for a total of at least 2500 miles this year. This riding running will culminate with a JDRF century (100 miles) and one other endurance event this fall!
3. I will volunteer my time to the organizations I work with for 400 hours or 50 Days this year. Right now my efforts are focused on assisting with planning a JDRF gala in April and leading the procurement efforts for the auctions.
4. The Athlete and I will continue to tweak our financial plans and determine the best course of action for saving for retirement, college and Increase our charitable contributions by 50%.
5. Continue to ensure I am providing value and in the right role at my current job by constantly asking for feedback. To achieve this – I will network with 50 new people this year.
   

It may seem like a lot; but I’ve upped my effort in certain areas and really want to take a holistic approach to transformation in 2010. Along the way, I’ll update you on my progress and share what I’ve learned about diet, exercise, planning, volunteer work and anything else that comes up.

Make today a great day!

AmK